Fortune Cookie Typo...

So today I got THE MOST RIDICULOUS fortune cookie ever. Not only was there a typo but it was also very insulting. It assumed my boyfriend was hiding something...

"Trust him, but still deep your eyes open."

I can't think of any reason I might not trust my boyfriend completely. We've been dating for 6 years almost, he's a good catholic man, we were friends in high school, and we've been there for each other through so much.

I guess the fortune cookie could be telling me to look deeper. I mean we have been arguing lately about something he said to me that hurt my feelings but he has also been trying to build up his credit by getting a credit card to pay off his college loans so that we can buy a house.
I know that moving in together will open up a whole new can of worm not only with him but our families and so I'm sure that the fortune cookie is telling me to be wary of that. Either way the fortune cookie needs to watch it will those typos.

Until tomorrow Fortune Cookie...
Now to job hunt and do laundry.

I've been applying for jobs alot lately. I'll take anything just to get out of here. My dad keeps telling me to apply for jobs I'm over qualified for and my boyfriend keeps telling me to apply for jobs I'm under qualified for. Me? I'm just scared out of my mind. But of course my good friend Fortune Cookie is there to reassure me.

"You will always be successful in your professional career."

I know I will be successful because I am a smart woman, a hard worker and a fast learner. I've always been that way. My manager always adores me. My coworkers always think I'm so cute (since I'm usually the youngest one there and the most mature of the young ones.) But there is something about being a nurse that terrifies me. I think its that I don't feel like an adult yet. I don't feel like a nurse. This is the most frightening thing I've ever experienced (besides my NCLEX of course). What if the manager doesn't like me, what if my coworkers laugh at me? What if I do something illegal on accident and a patient is harmed. What if I just can't cut it?

I have all these doubts lately. I've been feeling so vulnerable and its starting to wear on my relationship with my boyfriend. I'll be on edge with trying to find a job and keep my family from boiling over and he'll say something that he didn't mean and it will just break me down. It will eat at me for weeks, months even.

Another thing I'm afraid of with getting a real nursing job is I'm scared that I will like it at first, everything will be just great. Then 3 months later the glitter will start to fade. I'll start to see the drama, the unprofessionalism. I'll see the manager's dark side, my coworkers lies and I'll feel like I'll have to do something bad just to fit in. At 6 months I'll hate it there. I'll dread going to work, waiting until the last second to leave my house, speeding to get there, praying I get in an accident so I can call into work with an excuse.

I just don't want to mess this up.

So Fortune Cookie...what say you?

Well its about time!!!

I was just anxious and excited about my daily fortune cookie I had to crack it open exactly at midnight. And the excitement was well deserved.

"Your life will be happy and peaceful."

Now this is what I like to hear from a fortune cookie. After a few unsavory events of the day, I am reassured by this. I have always dreamed of a life where I can wake up with a few wispy rays of sunshine peeking through the curtains in the morning. I want to wake up next to my boyfriend's sleeping smile, I want to open up the window and say "Good Morning, World." I want to savor the glistening dew that kisses the dill and basil sprouting in my herb garden. I want to open up double rice paper doors and salute the sun on a bamboo floor. Simple pleasures.
I want to whisper to myself, "I love you."

In nursing school I decided that I wanted to include complimentary therapies into my practice. Meditation, Yoga, Journaling, Prayer. I also realized my calling towards hospice. I want people to have the least painful (mentally as well as physically) death as possible. I want to help people connect to their inner selves and be able to have their pain alleviated. I want my patients to know that their lives were happy and peaceful. Wouldn't you want the same thing?

Good Morning Fortune Cookie. I love you.

And on the 7th day...

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2.

Again today:

No Fortune!!

Except today I'm not taking it as a personal insult. Instead today I am going to enjoy my day. Its summer and the birds are chirping outside my window. My elderly neighbors are doing yard work. There's not a cloud in the sky.
I'm going barefoot today. Well, at least until I leave to go out to lunch with my grandparents. And I can just imagine the big hug I'll get from my grandma and grandpa as they tell me how proud they are that I passed my NCLEX.

I want to spend the day in the sun with my boyfriend's hand in mine as we stroll around the SF botanical gardens and just soak up that Vitamin D we're both deficient in.

Go out and enjoy!!!

Until tomorrow fortune cookie!!

Another Day, Another Destiny

So all hyped up and just got back from the club. I couldn't wait until morning so here goes fortune cookie number 6!!!

"You should be able to make money and hold onto it."

This one is ironic since I am actually able to apply for jobs now that I have my license and my boyfriend and I have been talking about saving up everything we have so that we can start looking at a place to live together.

Only thing is, is that I have a really have a hard time saving because stuff comes up. Ya know? It cost me close to $400 dollars for a bunch of expenses for school and my Nursing test. Kind of ridiculous right?

So thank you fortune cookie for giving me the task of resisting the urge to shop at Bloomingdale's (yeah right!!) on Sunday. I was going to go shopping though. Perhaps I should opt for Ross instead?

There could also be a figurative meaning that was lost in translation too. It could have meant to say: " You should be able to acquire wealth and hold onto it." This might apply to my relationship with my very loving, compassionate, patient boyfriend. We've been having one of those moments again and I need to stop and remind myself what a priceless jewel his is and not to squander, abuse and waste him. No ladies, I am NOT breaking up with him...ever. (That means you L.J.)

The same could also apply to my family. We haven't been getting along very well as of late and its pushing my younger sister and I away from our parents. Its really hard to deal with but I need to be thankful that I have a family. I have one acquaintance that had to watch her parents go through a divorce at age 3 and at age 4 her father died. At age 16 she was kicked out of her home by her mom and lived on the streets. She made her way by herself and with the help of many friends but its sad when she doesn't have blood related family (except an aunt and cousin) to celebrate holidays with. Thankfully she is a successful college grad now. Good for you, T. O.!!

Oh great wise fortune cookie what should I do with my family issues? Until tomorrow!!

Ha!!! Take that, yesterday's empty cookie!!!

So even though I seriously had an AWFUL day (I DON'T even want to talk about it) it ended amazingly because I found out that I passed my NCLEX!!!!! Funny thing was that it was just a half hour ago that I found out and I went running through the house announcing to sleeping family members that I passed my NCLEX!!!! I even called my boyfriend and woke him up to tell him. I didn't even care about the argument we had earlier that evening.

So in celebration I toast to all of you and to me (for all the hard work) with today's fortune cookie!! Yes, I know what time it is, it only 2:30am. But I had to do something to celebrate. I wasn't about to go crack open a beer... and drink it by myself. That's lame. That's for tomorrow, or rather later on today. El Rio in SF...anyone? anyone.....?

Well at least open this cookie with me then!!! Geez!!

Heck yeah!!! Bonus cookie made up for the last one... 2 FORTUNES!!!!
And boy are they good ones!!!

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
"Your future is as boundless as the lofty heaven."

I have to say these are the most appropriately placed fortunes I have ever received. For all the people who didn't believe in me or doubted me for a second or thought ill of me, the first fortune is for you. Also to you melancholy doubters, I WILL work in hospice. You know how I know that? Because my future is as boundless as the lofty heaven!! That's why.

The first fortune reminds me of my childhood as well. One parent always told me I shouldn't strive for one thing or another because it was a "stupid goal" or "useless" or "inappropriate" or "a waste of time" the other parent was always very encouraging and has kept pushing me forward.

Did you know I used to want to be a painter and a poet and a rock star. Well those dreams were smashed, and I have an acoustic guitar sitting next to me collecting dust. I have an almost complete poetry book and an abandoned calligraphy set. Oh well.

None of those matter since I just completed my life long goal!!!! I have a career!!!! I feel bad for the people I know of that chickened out before their last semester.

I feel so amazingly free!!! I really want to go run in the street and shout (at 2:45am in the morning) in my pj's. I have such a lifetime of unending possibilities!!! But my overall goal is to eventually work in the Zen Hospice in San Francisco!!

Here I go world, about to change you, love you, make you better and more fulfilling...with fortune cookies and competent nursing care!!!

Today is another unthrilling day, but at least I got a cookie for breakfast!!

So I set my alarm today in hopes of hopping out of bed and immediately starting my day. I went downstairs to hear that my little sister and her friend were making chocolate chip pancakes. So I grabbed a fortune cookie and ran down stairs to join them for breakfast. Before I started eating the delicious pancakes my sister so generously shared with me, I snapped open my cookie, only to find the following...

Absolutely Nothing!!!

There was no fortune and to tell you the truth I was incredibly sad. I mean this is day 4 of my great fortune cookie adventure and it was denied to me. I wasn't sure if this was fate or just a cheapo box of fortune cookies.

Of course this could be the day I make my own destiny. Well obviously I make my own destiny or I would not have just graduated college. No pseudo-Chinese cookie told me to do that.  And I KNOW I need to clean up around the house today. It could be that I'm just not going to have an exciting day. Who knows.

Either way it was rather un*fortune*ate...

And I was afraid this was a bad idea...

I must be going crazy!!! Well the mystery of the fortune cookies are starting to pick up a little and get more exciting. You're never going to believe me when I tell you. Remember yesterday how I said that I think too much about what others think of me? Well Fortune cookie number 3 had a rebuttal to that.

"Sell your ideas - they are totally acceptable."

I honestly could not believe my eyes when I read this. I laughed and said, "Thanks, fortune cookie!!" Actually I'm kidding, I didn't say that...but I was thinking it real hard.

Now I know what you're going to say. "It's just a stupid fortune cookie!! It has no wise input on the world. Nor does it actually have an opinion about what you are doing."
Well sheesh!! I know that. But I've realized that the act of opening up the fortune cookie has a moment of excitement. It's a simple pleasure, which I'm a big fan of.

I digress. I feel as though the luck of the draw has led me to be happy that I'm embarking on this humble journey. And I know that no one is reading this. I know this because my counter tells me NO ONE is reading this. Which is sad and pathetic on my part. But I'm going to persevere. I mean how many people do you know have done a year long pilgrimage? I only hear about it in books. The more I write the more this is like a diary of slow self discovery.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that fortune cookie approves. But the question is: Did it mean my ideas or ideals? Good question. I guess we'll find out together.

Living by Fortune Cookie

So this is the second day of interpreting the mysterious pseudo-wisdom of fortune cookies, and I am just plain exhausted!! My NCLEX was the single worst experience of my whole life!!! I won't get the results for a while. I mean I am so tired I just tried to use the muffin I am going to eat later as the computer mouse.

And the second fortune cookie tells me to...

"Be tactful; overlook not your own opportunity."

Bad grammar aside, I really think this is telling me to get my butt in gear and start seriously looking for a job. I mean I have been looking at craigslist on and off and applying for places but I certainly have not been very aggressive.

I think this can also be interpreted as, "Don't worry about what your classmates are doing, even if you look like a lazy butt loser. Just worry about yourself." I tend to care too much about what others are doing and compare myself to others. This leads to a low self esteem. I'M SO TIRED OF HAVING A LOW SELF ESTEEM!!! So despite the fact I'm almost sure I didn't pass my NCLEX, I probably did.

But anyways, I'm going to overlook what everyone else is doing. It's me time.

I hope I get a more grammatically correct fortune cookie tomorrow.

A fortune cookie everyday!!! Day 1

There's something about a fortune cookie that adds zest and sweetness to a moment and not just in terms of taste. What other food item can hold such a mystery in a moment... and the next moment makes you smile, giggle or contemplate on its message's meaning?

Tomorrow I start a new life, this is literally the moment I have been waiting for since I was a little girl growing up playing Barbies and Barbie had to go off to work. Alas, no, I do not start a new job; instead I take a test to get a special kind of license to be a registered nurse, called the NCLEX. 13 years of standardized tests, 4 years of nursing school at an accredited nursing university, 2 nursing review courses and literally 1000's of NCLEX practice questions have been preparing me for 1 test. Tomorrow determines my fate.

But enough about nursing gibber jabber (I could literally go on all day if you let me).

I want to savor every moment of this next year. I want to taste its delicate sweetness and discover that crisp loveliness. I want to contemplate and reflect on it and smile. Like a fortune cookie it won't let me down and won't disappoint me.

Fortune Cookie, make me smile!!!

OK HERE GOES FORTUNE COOKIE NUMBER ONE!!!!
"You will have a long and healthy life."

Somehow this is starting off disappointing. I expected something much more creative and intellectual. But I can definitely apply this to myself. I am a nurse, I take good care of my body and I think deeply about things. All healthy traits. I am romantically healthy as well. I've been in love with the same man for 6 years. We are kind and loving to each other and plan on marrying someday. I couldn't be happier with him.

If I were to compare myself to other young people in my age range (I'm 22) I would have to say that I am healthy in a social respect too. I am very down to earth, contemplative, friendly but don't mind being alone. I can always find something to do. I'm not on facebook or AIM every waking moment. I don't do drugs, don't drink excessively and don't engage in other dangerous acts of various sorts.

In a way it is satisfying since I would LOVE to be a little old lady (not so little - I'm almost 6 feet tall) and celebrate my 100th birthday!!! And be able to tell people how I voted for the first black president and when I was little I read these things made out of the rare substance paper and we called them books. "Lookie here sonnieboy I still have some here I stored away under this floorboard. But don't tell anyone, there's no telling what they're worth!!"

Until tomorrow Fortune Cookie!!