I've been applying for jobs alot lately. I'll take anything just to get out of here. My dad keeps telling me to apply for jobs I'm over qualified for and my boyfriend keeps telling me to apply for jobs I'm under qualified for. Me? I'm just scared out of my mind. But of course my good friend Fortune Cookie is there to reassure me.

"You will always be successful in your professional career."

I know I will be successful because I am a smart woman, a hard worker and a fast learner. I've always been that way. My manager always adores me. My coworkers always think I'm so cute (since I'm usually the youngest one there and the most mature of the young ones.) But there is something about being a nurse that terrifies me. I think its that I don't feel like an adult yet. I don't feel like a nurse. This is the most frightening thing I've ever experienced (besides my NCLEX of course). What if the manager doesn't like me, what if my coworkers laugh at me? What if I do something illegal on accident and a patient is harmed. What if I just can't cut it?

I have all these doubts lately. I've been feeling so vulnerable and its starting to wear on my relationship with my boyfriend. I'll be on edge with trying to find a job and keep my family from boiling over and he'll say something that he didn't mean and it will just break me down. It will eat at me for weeks, months even.

Another thing I'm afraid of with getting a real nursing job is I'm scared that I will like it at first, everything will be just great. Then 3 months later the glitter will start to fade. I'll start to see the drama, the unprofessionalism. I'll see the manager's dark side, my coworkers lies and I'll feel like I'll have to do something bad just to fit in. At 6 months I'll hate it there. I'll dread going to work, waiting until the last second to leave my house, speeding to get there, praying I get in an accident so I can call into work with an excuse.

I just don't want to mess this up.

So Fortune Cookie...what say you?